Flip Flops and Belly Rot

In the interests of balanced reporting, we must relate this little anecdote in order to show that this travelling lark is not all a bed of roses: We had planned to fly from Hanoi to Bangkok, get on a train down to the South of Thailand and from there board a ferry to Koh Tao, one of the Thai islands. It started off well; taxi to the airport at Hanoi, flight left on time, landed early, we picked up a bus to the train station – no problems. It started going downhill when we were told that all the trains were fully booked. Rather than spend a night in Bangkok we opted for a 10-hour bus journey, followed by a 3-hour wait in a ‘waiting room’ (which was literally just that – a room), then a 2-hour wait at the ferry pier and finally a 3-hour ferry journey. Things started becoming dreadful when I was violently sick 15 minutes before the bus left. I then spent the entire journey in agony, camped out next to whatever toilet I could find, with various fluids pouring out of me. By the time we arrived in Koh Tao, 27 hours after we had left Hanoi, I felt like I’d puked myself inside out.

Anyway, after a day in bed we were ready to explore Koh Tao. Originally we’d planned to go island hopping over two or three islands but Koh Tao charmed us so much that we ended up staying 6 nights.

It’s known as Turtle Island because of a giant palm tree-covered hump which slopes like a giant turtle shell over the centre of the island. The place has been very much modernised (read Westernised) but done in such a tasteful way that it complements its natural beauty. And what natural beauty – prone longboats bob in a placid turquoise sea that laps at a beach of powdery white sand; restaurants light up the beach by night, with barbecues and, of course, happy hours aplenty; further back, narrow walking streets are home to expensive guest houses and bars and restaurants, some of which wouldn’t look out of place in the West End. Unfortunately the prices wouldn’t be out of place in the West End either! It is exorbitantly expensive here, that’s the only down side.

We managed to find a wooden bungalow for 6 pounds a night, which is bleedin’ miraculous given the price of most of them! It didn’t have its own beach, so we nonchalantly marched down to the resort next door and staked our claim on their sunbeds and hammocks, glaring at the honeymooners who looked at us suspiciously! At night we drunk cheap rum & coke and played cards, and we found a restaurant that was much cheaper (and therefore busier) than anywhere else. In this way we kept our expenses down.

Everyone here seemingly hires out a motorbike or some sort of off-road vehicle so we thought we’d give that a go too. One day we got a gleaming new scooter and another we got a clapped out old dirt bike that we had to take back, but not before filling it with petrol!

Tonight though, it’s back on the road (or sea). We’ve got an overnight trip on a cargo boat to Surat Thani, on the Thai mainland, followed by a trifling 9 hour bus ride to Butterworth in Malaysia where we’ll stay overnight before making our way to Kuala Lumpur. Let’s hope this journey is not as bad as the last.

Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam and the resting place of her best loved celebrity, Ho Chi Minh (he’s everywhere out here – on every single bank note.). We were kind of ambivalent about Hanoi, it’s an interesting enough city but is noisy, grimy and – worst of all – the weather was awful. (First time we’ve had to wear trousers since Hong Kong, can you imagine?)

We stayed in the Old Quarter, a warren of narrow market streets chock-full of scooters (we found out from a local that there are 20 million scooters in Vietnam!). The noise is deafening, a cacophony of horns and engines, and you have to weave throughout the traffic along the road because the pavements double up as scooter parks.

Once out of the Old Quarter the roads widen into rangy boulevards of magnificent French architecture. We visited the Temple of Literature – a remarkable 12 Century building that was the first Vietnamese university – and we went to Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum. That was an experience that we won’t forget in a hurry – you’re not allowed to wear shorts or vest tops, bring cameras, talk or even laugh, and the rules are strictly enforced. Each day hundreds of people are arranged in twos and file past the great man’s dead body laying serenely in state, perfectly preserved. Apparently he requested to be cremated, and the old communist might be interested to know that as soon as you exit his tomb there are people trying to sell everything from T-shirts to ice-cream!

We also did a day trip to Ha Long bay, another treasured Vietnamese landmark and one of the 7 modern wonders of the world. This was one of the main reasons we came to ‘Nam and it should have been - would have been – spectacular, breathtaking even. Unfortunately the weather conspired against us. It was cold, misty…and pissing down! As our boat pulled out of the harbour we could scarcely make out the outline of the 1969 giant rocks that rise out of the South China Sea like giant teeth. Once we got over the disappointment of the conditions and got up close to some of the rocks it was still amazing – they reach hundreds of feet up like so many ancient mossy tree-trunks, and floating villages are dotted amongst them. They took us to a huge cave where stalactites hung like prehistoric squid from the roof. It was worth the trip but just a shame we didn’t go on a clear day. Ah well, can’t win ‘em all.

That evening we had a fun night out in Hanoi to mark our last evening with our travelling buddies Tom & Fiona (it’s been five weeks together!) and our new-found Ozzie friends, Michelle & Killer (he’s not really a killer, a really nice bloke really). We spent our last day recovering from the monumental drinkathon.

Back to Thailand now to our least favourite place in the whole world – Bangkok (gulp).